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Title: "A Wedding Isn’t the Same as a Marriage: A Lesson Learned from Mockery and Time"
In the vibrant and fast-paced world of Nigerian weddings, where opulence often takes center stage, there's an unspoken competition to have the biggest, most extravagant ceremony. From five-star venues to custom-made gowns and multi-tiered cakes, the pressure to outdo one’s peers can be overwhelming. But in the grand scheme of things, what truly defines a marriage? Is it the lavishness of your wedding day, or is it the love, commitment, and endurance that follow once the party is over?
This question becomes particularly relevant when we look at the story of two friends—Ada and Chioma. Ada, who had been married for 18 years, recently found herself in a conversation with Chioma, who had just gone through an expensive, high-profile wedding. What began as a lighthearted exchange about wedding budgets quickly turned into an eye-opening lesson about the true meaning of marriage.
The Wedding Mockery: Chioma’s High Expectations
Chioma was over the moon about her wedding. From the moment she got engaged, she had been planning every detail of the ceremony with precision and grandeur. She envisioned a celebration that would leave a lasting impression—a wedding fit for royalty. The guest list was long, the venue was elegant, the decor was breathtaking, and every detail screamed luxury. Chioma spared no expense, pulling all the stops to ensure her wedding day was the talk of the town.
Meanwhile, Ada, her longtime friend, had taken a different approach. She had a modest budget, but with a heart full of love and an unshakeable commitment to her partner, she hosted a simple yet meaningful wedding. It wasn’t extravagant, but it was sincere. Ada’s wedding may not have been the talk of the town, but it was beautiful in its own right—focused on what truly mattered: her love for her partner and the beginning of a lifelong journey together.
When the two friends met up after Chioma’s wedding, Ada couldn’t help but smile as Chioma shared her experience. But Chioma, still on a high from her big day, began teasing Ada.
"Can you believe it, Ada? I had the most expensive wedding ever—everything was perfect! Meanwhile, you had the cheapest wedding ever, and now look at you, still stuck in the same old marriage!"
Ada listened quietly, her smile softening as Chioma continued to boast about her extravagant celebration. But Ada wasn’t about to let her friend’s mocking comments slide.
With a calm but knowing smile, Ada said, “Chioma, I may have had a low-budget wedding, but here we are, 18 years later, and I’m still married. You, on the other hand, spent all that money on the most expensive wedding ever, but your marriage lasted just 18 months before it crashed. So, who’s really winning?”
The words hung in the air, and Chioma’s face fell as the realization hit her. Ada wasn’t being mean—she was offering a stark reminder about the true meaning of marriage.
The Truth About Weddings and Marriages
Ada’s response wasn’t about diminishing Chioma’s wedding or mocking her. It was simply a gentle reminder that a wedding ceremony doesn’t guarantee a successful marriage. Weddings are just a one-day event, a party, a celebration of love, but marriage is a lifelong commitment. It’s about building a foundation of trust, respect, and understanding, not about how grand the ceremony was or how many guests attended.
Chioma’s wedding may have been the talk of the town, but the reality of marriage is far more complex than any wedding planner or social media post can portray. Ada, on the other hand, had learned this lesson long ago. Her low-budget wedding didn’t matter in the long run, because what truly mattered was the bond she built with her husband over the years—through thick and thin, joy and sorrow, triumphs and challenges.
Ada continued, her voice gentle yet firm: “Weddings are beautiful, but they are just a ceremony. Marriage is the journey that follows. It’s not about how much you spend or how many people you invite. It’s about the daily work, the sacrifices, and the love you nurture every single day. I didn’t need a grand wedding to know that. A marriage is about resilience, not perfection. It’s about two people committed to growing together, no matter what.”
The Lesson: It’s Not About the Wedding, It’s About the Marriage
Chioma stood silently, taking in Ada’s words. In that moment, she understood something that she hadn’t before. Weddings are not a reflection of how strong a marriage will be. A big wedding doesn’t guarantee a happy marriage, just as a low-budget wedding doesn’t mean the marriage is doomed. In fact, some of the strongest marriages are built on simplicity, mutual respect, and a commitment to weathering life’s storms together.
Chioma’s expensive wedding, though beautiful and memorable, hadn’t been enough to save her marriage. On the other hand, Ada’s low-key wedding, which she had initially thought would somehow make her “less than” others, had led her to 18 years of love, companionship, and growth with her partner.
Ada’s final words summed it up perfectly: “Wedding is not marriage, and marriage is not about doing a big wedding or not. It’s about what you do after the wedding, how you nurture your relationship, and how you both walk through life together.”
Conclusion: Celebrate the Right Things
In the end, weddings are a beautiful celebration of love, but they are just the beginning. It’s easy to get caught up in the pressure of having a picture-perfect wedding, but let’s remember that the true beauty of a relationship is in the years that follow—the laughter, the struggles, the support, and the unwavering commitment.
So, the next time we gather to celebrate a friend’s wedding, let’s celebrate the love that brought them together, not the price tag of their ceremony. Because when the music fades, the cake is eaten, and the guests have gone home, what matters most is the love that remains, the marriage that endures, and the family that continues to grow.
And as Ada wisely reminded us: A wedding might be a day, but a marriage is for a lifetime. Choose wisely, and focus on what truly matters.